I Was Afraid Of This

by erica
(philadelphia, pa,us)

A few pages into your book, "On Being God" something told me we weren't going to have anything left to talk about and i would be delegated simply devil's advocate from here on out. Among the many eye openers or affirmatives i've come across in your book, one of them was this: "It is not enough to change what you say and do-- You must change who you are..." My childhood was great. My parents, great, and i have no complaints. Not a one. I'm 100% certain my siblings would agree. With that i could, like i suspect many, lay on a psychiatrist' sofa and have them peel back some layers. Where they come from, I have no idea. I suspect that i was born with them. The idea of God, i like to call "Him" God for the sake of simplicity though i don't personify "Him", use to scare the he77 out of me. I was a child. An innocent kid, presumably. What was i afraid of? I would walk in a dark room and cover my neck. And i would wonder about a very slight but discernable to me, threadlike discoloration in the shape of a boomerang on my chest right of center just below my collar bone. Why was this a concern of a little girl? The salute sign or how you might block your eyes from the sun, this is how i would cover my eyes from the cross that hung outside of the church i attended. Not to mention the day dreams. Heavy stuff at the time. Anyway. I guess i would like for you to confirm for me what i somehow already know, that if the gift of life is awareness and true awareness only exists in knowing the divine self, all anyone need do is not judge or put another way, the way A Course in Miracles states, "You need do nothing." Thanks again. Smile, erica

Comments for I Was Afraid Of This

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Sep 27, 2011
Be not afraid; Part 2
by: Carl bozeman

In a very short period of time children begin to reflect the aspects of their parents, teachers, aunts, uncles and whoever has an active role in their lives. It has become convenient over the last 20 to 30 years to blame ?bad behavior? on genetics or DNA but the truth is that environment is the main factor in determining how our lives will go and who we end up becoming. Children ?get it? until adults convince them they don?t and must ?see? another way. When I speak of ?changing who are? I am really saying that you must find that individual who occupied your body at the moment of your birth and existed predominately through your early childhood until it was ?drummed? into you that you were someone else. What that takes is questioning everything we ?think? we know to be true. The imaginary state you were in as a child is closer to reality than you think and ?yes? nothing ever needed to be done to change that.
I don?t know why you experienced things as you did as a child but I can tell, Erica, that you are closer to that child than most are. In fact, as you say, the best way to know that you are not ?close? to that divine individual you truly are, is to learn to catch yourself in the act of judgment. If you can look at something or someone without making a single judgment you will have accomplished something very few are ever able to do. We are conditioned so well at judging that it is nearly impossible not to judge. I struggle with it every waking moment and long for ?one? single day in which I will not have made a single judgment of any kind. As you say ?do nothing? but embrace the magnificence and beauty of everything in life and judge it not as ?good or evil? and your life will take on that childlike sense of wonder and awe we all reflect on from time to time. Life is simply to incredible to waste any time judging any aspect of it. Living ?is? awareness! Nothing more than awareness is every needed. All my best Erica and as always thank you so much. I love your friendship.


Sep 27, 2011
Be not afraid; Part 1
by: Carl

Hi Erica,
So nice to hear from you again. I apologize for the lateness of my response. I?ve been a bit busy but I love hearing from you and am honored that you are reading my book. I?m going to have to respond to this in two parts. I apologize for my verbosity but also thank you for providing these thoughtful questions and timely messages.
Thanks, also for sharing a bit about you childhood and no need to see a psychiatrist to peel away any layers. One of the aspects of being a little child is that from birth the mind of a child is in an alpha state, which is the same state ?meditation?, is attempting to get us back into. The alpha state is what we would call (in our educated circles) is an ?imaginary? state that parents, teachers, and pretty much everyone else in our childhood experience, actively try to eliminate by ?teaching us? what we should really be focused on and what really exists in the world. These innocent people only do what they have been taught or shown what to do.
Once a child reaches puberty the ?alpha? state is gone; replace by, so called, ?normal? states of beta brain function where everything from that point on becomes an effort to ?prove? what we have been so rigorously taught during childhood. All our ?imaginings? as a child are overwhelmed by the things we are taught are normal and important. This whole process is the masking over of the god that is active in the child and bringing a new awareness of an ?unreal reality,? we all adopt and accept to some level. Tiny babies are the closest thing to god most adults will ever experience and most adults will marvel at the ?miracle of birth? and even say things like ?how pure and innocent new born babies are,? but not hesitate for one instant to begin ?schooling? that perfect being into seeing the world as they (the adults) do. We need not be ?told? how to see the world; parent?s actions, reactions and emotions are all something the little child is aware of and learns as it grows. Part 2 continues?

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Questions and Answers.

Instant Download of the book in PDF format!

Buy Now