by AneeLia

I am experiencing the so called "dark night" of the soul. I am overwhelmed with feelings of depression and abandonment. How many things there are that I wish I could change. The questions of life constantly run though my head but never to find any answers. Although I am anxious for a new beginning, I recognize that my days of solitude have not come to an end yet and I must be patient. This is only the beginning of my journey and I'm not even sure where its going yet. I feel like I am constantly held back by something in everything I try to do as a means to support myself which only tells me there is something greater waiting for me, I just haven't found it yet.

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Sep 05, 2011
To Connie
by: Carl bozeman


I just wanted to thank you for sharing such a powerful tool to help relieve the mind from, as you call it, "stinkin' thinkin'." Your reminder that we are all in this together is enlightening and expressive of the great care and love we have for each other when we put aside our own dramas and ego. We all have the ability to know the "knowings" of our fellow sojourners.

Thanks again and many blessings to you always.

Much love,


Sep 03, 2011
How I work with my mind to get to that Divine place in me
by: Connie

Hello AneeLia,
I too have been in the place that you are now. I am totally in touch with and in agreement with Carl's post today, but it all seems to vanish when I need it most. When my "ego" takes over and uses my mind in the old, unproductive ways (sometimes I call it "stinkin' thinkin' "), I turn to practicing the tools that I have learned over the years to quiet my mind. One of the most helpful is mindfulness meditation because it does not negate or try to change how I am feeling in the moment, it just adds perspective and reminds me that I am a whole human being and pretty soon I get in touch with the Divine in me.
It also has helped me to picture myself in a circular room full of books which represent all areas of me and my life. I have a flashlight in hand and can shine it anywhere I want or I can turn the light on and see all the books at once. When I am caught in stinkin' thinkin' it's because I m shining the flashlight on that particular "book" so I imagine moving that flashlight around to other "books" and eventually turning the light on and seeing the abundance of all the good in my life right now.
Thank you for sharing where you are right now. It helps to remind me that we are all in this journey together.

Nov 11, 2010
Dark night Post 2
by: Carl Bozeman

Part 2 of my response:


It is the ego that says things like "I feel like I am constantly held back by something?" The ego can only look outward and so it points outwardly to, "other things" or circumstances and charges them with holding us back. Truth is, and I firmly believe you will come to know this, there is no "out there". You're true greatness lies within you and is not connected in any way to anything you experience in the physical world. Ego is incredibly clever at looking outward for answers because to look inwardly would be its demise. If it can steer you toward outer solutions and hope of "brighter days" in the physical form it will remain in control of your life and it will be a life that is way more complex then it was ever intended to be.

There is nothing "greater waiting for you". Again, ego wants you to believe that something out there in time or space awaits you or is coming toward you and all you must do is wait it out and it will surely come to you. You already possess the greatness you believe is "waiting for you". In fact, your greatness exceeds anything you can possibly imagine. You already possess all that you need. You are the "creative center of the universe". Nothing has more power and you have it all right now within you. All you need to do is quiet yourself so the voice of the divine being that you are can whisper to you. And it will!

You cannot fail at life, Aneelia. Regardless of how bad (or good) you think it may be. You are not nor will you ever be the person you "think" you are or what others may think you are. You are divine, the creator of "all" experience and none of it is a measure of your success, failure or the state of mind you find yourself in. You simply "are" and nothing could be more perfect and wondrous then you.

Look inward and all that you could possibly need or want is already in your hands. I send you my love and blessings as you come to find the divine within you. Once you do you will never look at life the same. Every experience will become sweet regardless of what our egos have been conditioned to believe. All judgment will fall away and you will see how wondrous and beautiful you are and life is. "Nothing you experience as a human can affect you as a god." Know that and fear will go away and your life as a human will unfold exactly as it should. "Life is sweet." Every bit of it. Even that part you call "The dark night". Don't lose a single minute not living or loving it!

All my Best Aneelia and thanks for sharing your thoughts. Blessings,


Nov 11, 2010
Dark night Post 1
by: Carl Bozeman


I am going to post two comments in response to your post. This is Part 1:


I feel the weight of your anguish and heavy heart as you express where you are in this present time. I know this place as well and while I have been able to break through to a "knowing" that has released me from the travails of life (as I once viewed them) I also know that my experience can never translate into your experience. We walk this path alone even though we are surrounded by others who share this "human" experience with us. I know the "aloneness" you feel.

What I can offer is that you can find your way out of the darkness and in to the light. I have come to know that within each of us is something so much greater then we can possibly describe and with it comes a vastness of knowing that makes our "human existence" pale by comparison. We are, in fact, gods who have come to Earth to experience Human form and while we get so wrapped up in our humanness we forget the divine nature we all possess. Continued in Part 2.

Oct 31, 2010
When things look gloomy
by: Randy

Anee Lia, I know how you feel. Two years ago I had a great job, I worked with people I loved, my friends and I had many spiritual interest in common and I was running a Non-Profit company building a hospital in Nepal. Then the economy went south, I lost my job, my relationships changed, and donations for the hospital dried up. But all through it, I have felt pretty up-beat. I believe that; one door closes and another opens. So I have constantly looked for that next opportunity. I have said yes to everything that has come my way, and hoped that the "new day" was right around the corner. Even when I read things by Astronomers and other predictors of the future that say; Things are going to get bad. I have kept the faith. I have read (and personally believe) that the coming difficulties will be the catalyst for the coming of a new age, an evolution of man to a higher level. So many are looking at what we (humans) are capable of and many are on the verge of finding the ability to exercise new and incredible powers. All we need is for the world gets sucky enough a few will stretch their wings and as soon as a few move into that new space, the earth will tilt and the critical mass will be achieved. Then like a landslide, all of us will step into the light. It will be a glorious day, and it feels like it is coming soon.
So when I feel gloomy I try to visit my future self and smile. It's all going to be great.

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